a torn sheet. satin white powder blue. and stains of red. what is it i ask a long silence fills the air. a vacuum filled with guilt and tears that no one saw. bloodshot eyes.and sorrow. a heart full of despair and shock that It happened at all. it overtook this time. hitting right when it was least expected striking where it'd hurt a hollowness .the aftertaste. a sourness that follows wherever you go and a sadness that engulfs all those vows
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pushing it out flushing the system clean drinking them up gulping them down. a swollen face and eyes red rimmed. a quivering chin and trembling lips and a full stop is that so difficult? letting go? and trying not to clip those newly grown wings tying down get it over with. and then the metamorphose is complete. a throat full of unshed tears. a stoic face and drowning.
a bitter taste in my mouth. years and years of toil. believing.loving caring shaping. an abundance of love pouring forth. and then i heard a blast. of trust. of all those dreams down the drain. a tender hand lifting. a voice. the calling. you persisted. i followed. disillusioned.still going on. another ray of hope. in all the inky darkness. but then. it came. the fall. a year two more..what does it matter.. digging down deep deep deep into the roots of history pulling out the weeds of enlightenment. uprooting all dreams. when it was just a baby. tiny.budding with enthusiasm. a hack and a cut. and it dies. breathing breathless. dying. dead.
like the roof overhead falling in the walls closing in choking . struggles . all in vain. only pain to look forward to. and tears .ripe,heavy. numbed by grief. shame.guilt.pride.love. underwater, and still alive. like a billet-doux. torn .rejected. a certification to show how much i love you. an eye .open. the other ..narrowed. fear-suspicion? i don't care anymore. moving ahead and letting go. compromise? or beasts of burden? a big gaping wound and an eternal scar that refuses to heal.
chimes. ancient and old. no new stories told. woven in silver and reddish gold. rich and vibrant. like the golden bough. a baby's laughter. retold. i hear the bells. and the sparrow smile. grains of sand. deep red and gold. swathed in beauty a thousand robes. the sweet smelling earth the dampness of skies. and roses of heaven a blanket. fur covered.wrapped in pink. the moon and the stars. and a sinister knell. mocking the silence of charm.
beneath an impenetrable gaze. i lay. thoughts. swirling. round and round.like a thick ball of snow. they gather . and fall. an avalanche.intense. the magnitude of a canon blast. yellowed.orange.blue. nothing but a glass menagerie. illusions and temptation. rolling out of my clasp. gone once. and again and again. it goes on. the cycle of loss. memories. all gone. a crystallised mirage. frozen in time.
swallowing ,i gazed. the silver envelope. the key to my life. teasing.menacing. flirting with disaster. be careful they had said. no time to listen or ponder. walking along. i sang a song. the words. blurred. judgment day not too far away. one step closer. tentative. torn.open.read. shock and an arrest. all the breath out of my lungs. "the silence of death is worse " it said.
thus it was said. one day you'll know. it stung. and happened. no tears . none. a deep pit. hollow winds. broken wings of desire. shrinking self. figs and trees. apples red and round. it stopped dead stared.confused. waiting for a sign. it rose. heavy sighs. still in control. deeper breaths.it's coming. a threat. no sound. only sobs of fire.
un árbol. en mis pensamientos. ¿dónde? no sé. hay muchas cosas. amor. la ventana en una casa. blanca. y los perros. sueños y la realidad no sé. confianza o tristeza no sé vació o lleno. pesado. no pequeño no sé despacio. poco a poco el fin. sí .lo sé
l'étouffement. perdue. cherchant.le paix. l'univers n'existe plus. on va où? l'innocence et tout. une grande illusion. la vie se moque de lui. qui essaie. j'ai cherché partout. rien. l'écoulement du temps. peu a peu. le sort. seul.luttant. des vagues étranges m'appellent. je n'ai pas de réponse.
chants. to invoke you. laughter and giggles. palms of my hand. devotion.and spirits. and love.lots of it. brown.black.honey. short.tiny. i see the reflection of my dreams. fluid movements. life. and a little poetry. soft laughter. and pitter-patter. rain.pure dew. on the yellow roof. gliding wordlessly . your violin. rustic love. a smile. a nose. and hands. mine. all mine.
you . self-assured assuming i'd understand. everything . went unsaid. i . lay unsuspecting.unassuming. an open window. consumed by the inheritance. determination.ambition. crushed. a new face and a new life. and a stranger. walking towards a sure destiny. richesse and largesse. blurred lines of separation. mine and yours. and yet. love reigns. gulping down all expression. i stand mutely. at the doors of heaven. knocking. finding no response i turn. you ambivalence. i am but a follower. the sparrow and her tiny tots. blind.bound. truth. and the end of red.
a heart. beating. deep in the dark. a silent plea to another. peep into what's mine and you'll know how i suffer for all your deeds. yet. a love that knows. dances. tipped with honey.glazed.sweet. ripped apart . shreds.nothing. in a matter of two seconds. i know. you do. but never will tell. if only words were louder than the meanness of its actions. i could run and never look back. a linear escape. and Z.
trembling hands. nerves on end. a collective shiver. down the spine. of one and all. it comes and goes away.. with streaks of blue and black. welcomes us all over again. with wisdom lines. red and green. the bane of every teen. here,do sign, Mr.Iyer and there ,Mr.Patel. do you see what seeds of silence and tranquil bliss your son's sowing? whack whack. and more. words. leave him wiser. none the more. only the softness of guilt on his buds. retreating into darkness. a bleak dark wall. he plots his revenge. by nightfall. the synchronized breath hits his senses. wrenching it away from him. an instant. no cries. suffering. then. it's over. icy little scales. and blue veins. cold.a mad pulse. the blanket of regret all over. and a laughter. full of pain.
it's out in the open. staring at me. unblinking eyes. like the unfolding mystery . before me. a pool. water. stagnant.still. unperturbed. i know where it shall lead. it's knowing chuckle. not unfamiliar . a similar fate . for you and me. years down the lane. looking back. i shall see. a river in full spate. glee. and Him. smiling down at You and Me.