illusional reality

as i turn the pages. the sweet smell of ages wafts up to my nose. with a delicate whisper on it's parched tongue. waiting for the first touch of love to caress the contours of its history. black and white. they run. careless.swift and tiny. oh!the exhilaration of skimming through it's warmth. it's features memorized. recorded . a sprinkle of white powder. to keep the memories alive. i tuck it back safely. into the vast jungle of it's fraternity. all of them. all these years . and me. one strong bond. to last an eternity. and one little book. to last a lifetime.

brimming with joy. a love unexplained. expressed.and with words aloud. proclaimed. taken. mending.shaping.loving. all the way along. a tear. a case of jumbled nerves. helpless .in pain. once upon a time. things , different and sunshine. now. a wretched wrinkled heart longing for peace ,togetherness. a hand upon its casing. and i know. what should be done... for my cup runneth over...

a tiny little grain. planted deep inside ages.ages ago. has taken root. ages.ages ago. a flourishing plant. in full bloom. ripe fruits. and grapes of wrath. flowers. going ..going.. gone. deep brown and black. stonecoloured shards . unmoving.unbending. on an expressionless face. Have you no shame? no feeling divine? laughing.mocking. established rules notwithstanding. overwhelmed by a sense of strong,biting emptiness that sings. All the days to come. are wrapped in dainty little wrappers shiny and bright. deception. lies. no bright lights at the end of the long dingy tunnels only blindness. and a laughter. as sinister as hell .

a little girl. lost. alone. a tiny head.full of mirth. big eyes. full of questions. a ready smile. a toothless grin. and fingers made for the canvas. gripping the wrinkled hand. of the Old Man. kind eyes. the same ready smile. and the same toothless grin yonder. storms.blizzards. all said and done. it's gone. those bright golden hours. tinged with rings of purple and green. and a stick of color.red.blood. like the dust kissed off the road. two souls ...hunting..pining. one with a shiny pate..the other ,shiny eyes. a little heart brimming with hope. turned away from the door. "no alms"she said. none.none for you. snatching the bundle from his arms. burying it in sorrow. the molten liquid of a fiery night. doused with a cut. baptized with tears.burns and shadows of silence. silver and gold. and stoic. as blunt as the stone. like a shunned leaf,crumpled. kindness vanished.from the face of earth. little miss Toothless grin would Later realize. that poison seeps in , familiar

fingers and all the spaces between them. a pure look of pleasure. the eye. a twinkle of stars.brown.sanguine. and fireworks. and sun. the other. flowing from the tip of the nose to the red rimmed eye. begging for attention. dark and deep ,the caves run. no time, for it in all the world. not even a tiny glance. none.

a wilderness untamed. weaving delicate girdles of lines. deep red and maroon. fanning all over the map. of my world. green black and blue. i have not a clue. it comes and goes. a lovely vision .a precious hue. the sun.and the star. blinking away its tears. shining all its joys. onto the slumbering earth. pale.trembling. like the sigh on the lips of dawn. the lake.aquamarine.white. insects and beings.singing away all pain. only a soft white light.eyes wide open. and hands .patient .loving. milk and honey. and a heart. that knows nothing. but love.

abyss.plain.plateau.peak. Trench. pitch black.bleak.deep. the depth of nothingness. smouldering.melting. crystals of overwhelming red. flashes. and a mirage.. a garden in bloom. change and joy. needles .slivers and shards. glass.broken.hopeless. brown.desolate. a will to escape.and chains. pulling.insisting. with pleading eyes.a mirror and a soul. impatient tugs . the heart of a mortal. in its place a stone. buried long ago. a ruin. emotionless ..unfeeling.. and a lock. the base. a wretched loneliness.

un éclat. le bruit du sens. les couleurs. fatiguées..impuissantes. les yeux ouverts.le coeur battant. une question pour te poser. une larme. le but est l'horizon. rouge.pourpre.jaune.orange. mais avant. c'est le vide. la nuit qui fait peur. la reine du monde. blanche.belle. douce .charnelle. souriant. descendant vers les mortels. un rayon. vert. un arbre pleurant.frissonnant. tout seul. et le vent. et moi.. je t'attend...

it Said give Yourself up let go failed. fell. unappreciated a leaf.crumpled.Crackling under the weight. of a Thousand feet. a thousand little cries. you unworthy brute! the last burden. of an unfulfilled life. unknowing.eyes Closed. she Enters. did love greet her,perhaps,on her way In? is all life merely an illusion of the UNreal? possibilities.answers. and a puzzle. a tired little traveler. walking on...

i turn. it follows as it always has. dark memory.buried deep. deep deep deep within the unreachable corners of the undecipherable world. a pretence . and love.in all its colours. tears.sobs.swollen promises. some more. and i know. what it never will. through the neon eeriness of la noche. like a dingy glove. a blast from the past. persistence and resistance and acceptance.and Deliverance will its soul respond? will it cry? will it remember? as i know. i will.

a memoir of a smile. sweet and soft. rose.a bud. eyes.like fire. a round pool of obsession. i know you don't see it. said the voice. vaporising into thin air.suddenly cold. i look back. a tear. perched on the valley of insouciance dying to perish and disappear. a shiver. and snow. like a blanket over all fears. white.ready. a solace under the thicket of the wild.

taut. unflinching.sharp-tongued. brisk.unthinking. like the forked tongue of a viper hissing.impulsive. tearing away the remnants of a beautiful vision. clad in rich red hues, the climax.a shudder.a cry. and death. the leveler.

twining of the past. the Present and the Future. and a mirror..all seeing. reflecting the soft golden hue of the moon above. pearls.laughter and love. roses.pink and mauve. us.here and now. delicate tendrils.floating .flying. liquid pools of desire. melting..flowing. never to pause...only branch. tender is the night. a lone soul and another. hand in hand..treading all the way, up up up.

butterfly wings flap.restless. colours abound.red.mauve. blue clouds.ice creams. white. the pupils widen in recognition. a smile.a pull. a force powerful that softly leads . magic.musical love. a sigh. a kiss. and the eyes, open and all seeing. liquid.rich pools of noir. pleasure. desire. much too long. and all those roses that are red...

blue,tatterred. evidence of all travails.. bearing truth in its entrails.. profound joy,loss,pain,death. resurrection. spiders scaling it's milky-white bed. a tired hand.a fond thought. waiting ..waiting...until eternity. shades of gray and red. slices of curdled milk. loving lines. bent ,alert,writing... a shot of spice. and fear. a tree, a bird..n'importe quoi...

a breezy night.. dark ,round. wailing..sending shards of tristesse into the warmth of its womb. flowers..and some more. red green and pink. in the grip of Peace. poised on the brink of Madness. shimmery sweet,pearl white.. will nothing Ever last?

A lump like life at the pit of my throat Crying for honey..parched,unfed.. Red and molten. sweltering with triste incurablis.. torn , ragged..not even a glance not even a ray of hope at the end of the bleak dark dance walking with abandon… a hint of sorrow… head bowed low and eyes misting.. heart with nothing but love to give… and Pain ,to last till the end of joy.